


Sidetracked

by bleedingwords



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: F/F, Punky Monkey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-02
Updated: 2016-08-02
Packaged: 2018-07-28 18:59:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7653016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bleedingwords/pseuds/bleedingwords
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Felix is an expert at lying. But labeling what Cosima and Sarah have as platonic friendship is even out of his league.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sidetracked

His head hurts. Hurts like a bloody tornado swept through and left everything a mess. Hurts enough for him to glare harshly across the room where two of his favorite sisters are arguing away and have been arguing away for the past hour.

Just listening to them is like sitting through a teenage nightmare. They’re a mess of hormones, emotions, and the aftereffects of caffeine.

“You have to let me take care of this.”

“Like bloody hell I will! You’re not going in there alone, Cosima! I’ll come with if I have to.”

  “No, you’re not, Sarah! How many times do I have to explain this? You need to stay here and protect Kira. I’ll. Be. Fine.”

“Kira’s at a new safe house with Mrs. S and the rest of the crew. I’d offer you a gun, but you don’t even know how to shoot one do you?”

“I- well-” 

“Jesus, Cosima!”

“Sarah, don’t!”

Felix rolls his eyes at the ceiling and wishes he could be rolling his eyes at them, but knowing the two women, they’d be too absorbed in each other to notice.

He glances back over again and takes in how they’re crouched at Cosima’s work table, heads bent over a single laptop, and so caught up in their debate that they’ve probably forgotten his existence. And then he notices, with disgust, how even as they fight, some part of them would always be touching. Sarah’s foot hooked around Cosima’s ankle, Cosima’s hand on Sarah’s wrist, their knees brushing against each other’s. It’s sickening, he decides. Absolutely sickening.

The past few months he’s had to watch as his sister fell arse over tit for her clone, and for the love to be reciprocated and then promptly ignored by the both of them. At least, he’d just assumed that it’d been ignored, or were they really that blockheaded to have not realized…? Oh bloody hell. 

He flicks a speck of dust off his black winter coat and eyes the rapidly deteriorating chocolate stash that he personally had gotten for Cosima with disdain. Ever since Scott’s buddies were allow in on the lab under the Rabbit Hole, things had gotten drastically worse, especially sanitation wise. The tables were covered in an unhealthy amount of dust, the staircase handle sported an extra thick layer of grime, and even the floor had begun to stick to Felix’s shoes. But the one place that’s spotless is Cosima’s working desk and since that’s obviously occupied, he’s taken to lounging (rather uncomfortably) on the couch.

Behind him the girls continue their bickering and Felix is seriously contemplating going upstairs to seek out the company of the gaming boys, a thought that puts his desperation into perspective. He huffs and clicks off his phone, which he had been scrolling aimlessly on to disguise his weariness.

“Why can’t you just trust me? You’re always running around breaking into important buildings and it’s, like, horrifyingly hypocritical for you to tell me not to.”

“‘Cause I bloody well know what I’m doing. You just about proved you can’t take care of yourself if you can’t even shoot bloody a gun!”

“I won’t need it! Last time I got in and out of Bright Born no problem. I’ve been taking care of myself just fine. Without you!”

“Okay, Cos, listen to me-”

“Don’t Cos me!” Cosima snaps and Felix stops at the base of the staircase, looking back. Just as he’d thought, they didn’t even notice that he’d moved from his spot on the couch. Cosima is leaning aggressively towards Sarah, one hand flat on the table and the other jabbing violently at Sarah’s collarbone. And of course, Sarah’s always so absorbed in whatever to do with Cosima that he honestly didn’t expect anything less than full attention towards the woman before her.

From his angle, he can’t even see what Cosima’s expression is like, but by the flicker of surprise and… is that respect? in Sarah’s eyes, he can tell it's something fiery. And then Sarah’s silent for a bit like she’s actually considering letting Cosima go alone which sends a series of alarms chorusing in Felix’s mind because Sarah is never submissive. And sure enough, the stubborn, bullheaded Sarah that Felix knows reappears in the matter of seconds (much to his relief).

“Okay, fine. I’m still right, though, Cosima. Just because you broke out of Bright Born, doesn’t mean you can do it again. Susan ordered her goonies stay put or else they’d have grabbed you up like a bloody excavator! You just got lucky, y’hear?”

But Sarah doesn’t sound as convincing as she usually does; her voice is more subdued, less passionate. Her fingers play absentmindedly with a thread from Cosima’s tank that gets longer and longer the more she pulls until Cosima bats her hand away, voice biting and loud as she replies.

Felix eyes them warily and decides that they probably won’t kill each other in his absence, before moving upstairs. They really ought to work out their whole relationship thing, in his opinion. The sexual tension is really getting to be unbearable, and it’s not just affecting him. There’s a reason that he was put on clone watch: no one else can stand being in the same room with them. Scott hates arguments, Allison balks at their intimacy (or rather any intimacy), Helena’s definitely not suited for the babysitting job, and even Mrs. S shifts restlessly and excuses herself after a while.

And that leaves Felix. And he’s about to walk out on them. There’s a part of him that does feel guilty but seriously it might be better if they were alone for a while.

He’s almost at the top of the staircase when there’s a huge bang, all arguments cease, and the room falls silent. His head jerks up and he stops dead in his tracks, fighting the urge to drown himself and be done with it all. There’s a moment when he’s genuinely scared. What the bloody hell happened now? Felix rushes towards the railing and cranes his head down to get a better look at them and when he finally finds the right angle, he almost topples from the staircase altogether.

They’re making out. Passionately. Very passionately. Even from where he stands, he can see the obvious movement of Cosima’s tongue as it probes Sarah’s mouth, and he shivers uneasily. There’s only a limited amount of happiness he can afford to give to them while he watches his sister stick her tongue into someone else's mouth.

Sarah’s got her pinned against the table, both hands bracketing Cosima’s hips, and they’re pressed flush against each other. Sarah’s stool is knocked over undoubtedly from when she lurched forwards to kiss her. Felix rolls his eyes, but can’t quite bring himself to finish his trek upstairs yet. There’s something about their relationship that’s so strong, so raw, that it attracts the attention of everyone in their vicinity. And likewise, they hold his gaze even as he tries to look away.

So he watches the little tremor in Cosima’s body as she reaches up to cup Sarah’s face, thumb tracing over her cheekbones and down the slope of her jaw. He hears the little hum of satisfaction that Sarah emits as she presses impossibly closer and hooks an arm around Cosima’s waist. He sees the way that they look at each other after they’ve broken apart, the silent, intense gaze that holds them both captive and blinds them to the rest of the world. It’s so incredibly private that he blinks twice and then tears his eyes away. Yeah, they’d definitely be okay if I left.

As if hearing his thoughts, Sarah lurches forwards again and Cosima lets out a long groan, hips bucking forwards into Sarah’s and okay now would be a perfect time to leave.

His head snaps back and his face is flushed and warmer than usual. His heart races away in his chest. Felix forces his feet to move and he stumbles through the door, closing it just a hint to hard and wincing at the bang only to be faced with a table of gaming boys, all looking his way. Felix clears his throat and straightens himself, hands flying to his coat cuff and tugging nervously. He clears his throat.

“Well? Carry on then.” He waves a hand at them, and they reluctantly go back to their figurines. All except for one person of course.

“You okay, Felix?” Scott asks, twisting to look at him with his eyebrows scrunched.

“Peachy.” Felix cringes at how high pitched his voice had suddenly gotten.

“Okaaay.” Scott says a bit uneasily. He stands and walks over to the door as Felix’s eyes widen. “I’ll just go check on them, then. You can stay up here and finish Dragon’s Diamond for me if you want.”

“Uh no.” Felix slams his hand over the door switch at eh corner of the desk. “I’d rather not, thanks. And perhaps it’d be best if you didn’t go in there right now.”

“What?”

He’s so genuinely confused. How cute.

“Now Scott. I want you to listen to me very carefully.” He pauses to make sure that Scott’s listening. “It’s Sarah and Cosima down there.”

“Oh, okay. Yeah, I know so I was just thinking-”

“Sarah and Cosima.”

“What?” Scott stops. He spins around to look at his buddies but they’d all gone back to playing. “What about them?”

Felix raises his eyebrows. Could this dimwit get any more… dimwitted.

The moment that understanding dawns on Scott’s features, Felix’s arm falls away from the switch and he rolls his eyes.

“Yes, Scotty. They’re copulating in your laboratory, get over it.”

And Scott’s pales to the point where Felix would begin to worry. “I-I- They- oh, okay- Yeah- okay.”

And that’s that. Scott sits back down at the table significantly more shaken than before. He loses two hundred diamonds to the asian kid sitting across from him and Felix rolls his eyes. It’s a waiting game now and Felix has plenty of experience with that one.

…

If the two come upstairs half an hour later significantly less dressed than they were before, no one makes any comment.

If Cosima’s the happiest she’s been all week, Scott wisely chose to accept it for what it was.

If Sarah tilted her head just right, there may have been a slight bruise visible under her jaw, but Felix adverts his eyes before he can be sure.

“Ah, the Dragon’s Diamond. Bet I could beat your guys’ asses in under ten minutes.” Cosima says, looking over Scott’s shoulder at the game board.

“M’sure you could.” Scott mumbles, so obviously avoiding Cosima’s gaze that she frowns and cocks her head to the side.

“What? You don’t believe me?”

“No, no, you probably could.”

“Probably?”

“I just- I mean, like- if you wanted to?”

Cosima’s about to open her mouth to respond when Sarah silently drifts across the room and comes to stand directly behind her. A hand reaches out to cup just underneath her chin and Cosima stops abruptly, letting her head be tilted upwards. When they kiss, the whole room falls silent. Someone drops a board piece and it clatters so loudly that Felix almost winces.

Sarah breaks the kiss eventually and rests her chin onto Cosima’s shoulder. “Don’t challenge her, yeah Scotty?”

He doesn't.


End file.
